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Day 11 - Because I Already Found Mojo


Rendering an apple - Another "comparing" exercise

Last Saturday, I decided not to blog over the weekend in order to reflect about what I should be writing. That however escalated into a relapse where I started ignoring my new ways completely. I didn't paint or write until today.
"The Nothing" had befallen me again, which is making me sad and anxious.

I'm not really sure what happened, and I even went through the techniques I learned to figure out what I was doing and why. I did not like the answers. I'm just bored of it all. I doubt this has anything to do with depression, but I'm positive that it will be the case if this continues.

I started this blog as a means to regain mojo, and I believe I found plenty— I learned a couple of life-hacks to free myself of "Nothing", I painted daily (and enjoyed it), and I was facing the demons that came along the way.

So why did I relapse? Just boredom? Fear?

One thing is certain, my blog was starting to outlive its original purpose. Hence, the trouble finding meaningful  things to write about. I just didn't realise how short-term of a goal "finding mojo" could be, and how boring things had gotten once I achieved the goal.

Perhaps I hate maintenance— Things excite me when I'm trying to reach them, but once I get there,  the excitement is over.
Doesn't this mean I just lose what I gain though? If I want to keep mojo, do things need to be exciting?

That aside, blogging helped me maintain a healthy chain-of-thought. It was a good means to understanding how I felt about things and what to do about them. I need to continue blogging, but without overextending past objectives. Instead of blogging about methods used to keeping myself out of "Nothing" and finding mojo (things I already achieved), I'll need to move on with the journey as it continues.

So, let the journey take its course, and my blog along with it.


Today's Sense-of-Achievement To-Do List was:

  • Illustration
    • 2 apples
    • 1 face
        
  • Blogging
    • What's been up
    • SMARTER Goal list #2
    • Update all internal links (due to blog name-change)

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